She gazed out the window, taking in the New York City skyline for the last time. It didn’t have to be the last time, yet she knew it had to be. The unrelenting heaviness in her chest almost crushed her, choking off her air and numbing her mind, as it had for months.
She felt more peaceful now that she’d made the decision, yet the heaviness remained.
Yes, it had to be this way. There was no other option.
For years, she tried to ignore The Pit.
She put on a happy face. Attended all the right events. Said all the right things. She built her business and appeared, to all the world, as the epitome of success.
She wore the mask to perfection, and it fooled everyone.
Except her.
She couldn’t shake The Pit, The Blackness that tortured her soul.
The fame, the fortune, the fast-faced life she once thrived on – it all meant nothing.
Becoming a household name is not an insurance policy against despair.
She hoped her daughter wouldn’t blame herself. It wasn’t her fault.
She fingered the scarf and thought about all the beauty she’d brought to the world – the clothing, jewlery, perfume, furniture, and handbags that adorned so many homes around the world.
A scarf. Thin. Flimsy. Powerful enough to end it all.
She tied the knot, and let go.
Kate Spade Suicide: Designer Found Dead
Hours later, news of Kate Spade suicide hit the networks and the social media sites. The headlines appeared. The speculation began. The condolences rang out.
Today, sadly, Kate Spade joined the ranks of Robin Williams, Marilyn Monroe, Kurt Cobain and countless other celebrities who ended their own lives and left the world reeling.
The description of her final moments at the beginning of this post is, of course, speculation. I can only imagine what thoughts and experiences led to her decision.
What I do know, for sure, is that money and fame do not buy happiness. Sometimes, people face inner demons that we know nothing about. Many times, actually.
And while celebrity tragedies like Kate Spade suicide shock us with their unexpectedness, women just like you face similar battles every day.
I see it in my clients all the time. Successful women who look like they have it all together, secretly hate themselves. The skeletons in their closet haunt them relentlessly. They’ve lived so long by the expectations of other people, they hardly recognize themselves any more.
You can’t tell by looking at them. They manage their lives, they experience success in their careers, they show up for their families.
Most of them do not contemplate suicide. But many of them describe their experience as a slow, quiet dying inside – a dying to Self. A dying to their dreams.
Focus on What Counts
We may never know the details that led to Kate Spade suicide, and what inner demons she faced that caused her to lose all hope. My heart breaks for her, and the hopelessness she must have felt. My heart breaks for her teenage daughter, who will grow up without her mom, and for her husband, who must go on without his wife.
But her tragic death highlights an important truth:
So many of us chase external accomplishments to help us feel worthy. But earning more money is not the answer. Having the perfect family, the perfect body, the perfect anything is not the answer.
If the string of celebrity suicides teach us anything, it is that.
Please, if you have any suicidal thoughts at all, get help. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1 (800) 273-8255.
You are worthy of getting help. You are not alone.
If you found that chasing money and other outward markers of success does not bring lasting fulfillment, and you’re ready to heal your past and build your confidence from the inside out – well, that’s the work I was put here on this earth to do. Let’s have a conversation to see how I can support you in your journey.
