Recently, I’ve heard so many people talking about how to gain
Sorry… what?
These tactics might give your confidence a temporary boost, but they don’t build solid
And you probably hear this one a lot: confidence comes from being successful. Making lots of sales. Building a 7-figure business. Getting that big promotion.
And while it’s true that success does bring you some measure of confidence (more on that later), it’s not the root cause of
What happens if your business tanks? If you go through a sales slump? If you get laid off?
Does your self esteem tank along with your business?
If you try and gain self confidence using these methods, you will lose it just as quickly.
Because there’s no foundation to it.
So what does help you gain
The Three Pillars of Self Worth
True
Gain Self Confidence Through Character
When it comes to Character, doing the right thing matters. If you do lousy things, you’ll feel lousy about yourself. It’s called a conscience, and that’s a good thing.
Self Magazine actually has an article called, “9 Ways to Fake Confidence Until You Actually Believe It.” The advice is actually decent. Some of the suggestions do help you gain self confidence. But the idea of faking it seems, well… icky. (Imposter Syndrome, anyone?)
I much prefer the idea, taken from Jack Canfield’s book, The Success Principles, to “act as if.” The difference is
Read more about how living a life of good character improves your self esteem here.
Gain Self Confidence Through Competence
Competence doesn’t mean you succeed in everything you do – land every big client, build your 7-figure business in three years or less.
Competence means you have the abilities you need to succeed.
When you don’t know something, you can figure it out.
When you fail, you will get up and try again. (Notice I said “when,” not “if.”)
Your self worth is not determined by your failures any more than it should be determined by your successes. However, your successes do lead to a greater sense of competence. And your competence level doesn’t disappear when you fail.
Read more about how competence improves your self worth here.
Gain Self Confidence Through Core Values
Core Values are your deeply-held beliefs. Living in alignment with your core values builds your
It goes without saying that a vegan wouldn’t gain self confidence by building a business selling bacon.
As you can guess, having a thriving career or business will actually decrease your self esteem if you build it in a way that violates your core values.
Your success doesn’t build your confidence. Living in alignment with your core values does. Success is nice, of course. But it isn’t necessary to be confident.
Read more about how living according to your core values improves your self esteem here.
Building the Foundations of Self Confidence
To build confidence that lasts, the Three Pillars of Self Worth must be built on a solid foundation of self awareness and self acceptance.
Knowing who you are at your core – and accepting yourself completely – is the key to building confidence that lasts. When your
It takes real work and real solutions to get to that point, and we’ll talk about them more in my next blog post.
For now, download the free Life Alignment Assessment to live your life with integrity and build your self esteem.
