How “Fake it Til You Make it” Destroys Your Self-Esteem, and What to Do Instead

“Fake it til you make it” is one of the DUMBEST bits of advice I’ve ever heard. (Hello, Imposter Syndrome, anyone?…)

Research suggests that 70% of women (or more) feel like a fraud. They think they don’t deserve the success and accolades they achieve, and they secretly fear being “found out.”

So why on earth would people ever suggest to “fake it til you make it?” Especially if you’re trying to boost your self-esteem and be more confident.

Nothing erodes your self-worth faster than trying to be someone you’re not.

And there’s plenty of that going around in this world. Please don’t add to it.

So don’t pretend to be a 6-figure business owner if you’re in the start-up phase. And don’t pretend to be in the top level of your direct marketing company if you only have 2 team members.

Be honest. Be real. Be you.

Because really, who are you trying to impress when you’re fake? And why?

Not only is it stressful to keep up a front and pretend to be something you’re not; it’s also dangerous.

If you fake it til you make it, you will be found out.

I hate to break it to ya, chicky, but it’s true. If you’re really, truly faking it, one day the façade could come crashing down. Then you’ll feel like a failure and a fake. Not a good way to boost your self-esteem.

Plus, we all have a built-in B.S. meter. If you pretend to be someone you’re not, you’re lying to yourself. You subconscious knows it. And you’ll feel worse about yourself, instead of better.

Remember, character is one of the 3 Pillars of Self-Worth. Being fake erodes your character.

Don’t fake it til you make it. Do this instead:

Act as if.

It’s like the old saying, “Dress for the job you want, not the one you have.”

Jack Canfield explains the concept of Act As If in his book, The Success Principles.

He tells the story of a young bank teller who always wore a suit and tie like the branch manager, instead of the shirt-and-tie “uniform” of the other tellers. He started greeting customers the way the branch manager did, and generally acting like he was already in the position he wanted.

Note that he didn’t claim a desk in a glass office or start writing loans! He didn’t pretend to be a branch manager; he didn’t fake anything. Instead, he behaved like a person who had the job title he wanted. And sure enough, the man became a branch manager the next year.

In my next post, I’ll explain what Act As If looks like when you’re trying to be more confident.

What do you think is the difference between “Fake it Til You Make it” and Act As If? Leave a comment below!